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Crucial Confrontations: Tools for talking about broken promises, violated expectations, and bad behavior

Crucial Confrontations: Tools for talking about broken promises, violated expectations, and bad behaviorAuthors: Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler
Publisher: McGraw-Hill
Category: Book

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Seller: glenthebookseller
Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars 49 reviews
Sales Rank: 1224

Media: Paperback
Edition: 1
Pages: 284
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 1
Dimensions (in): 9 x 6 x 1.1

ISBN: 0071446524
Dewey Decimal Number: 303.69
UPC: 639785390756
EAN: 9780071446525
ASIN: 0071446524

Publication Date: August 26, 2004
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days

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  • Condition: New
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Editorial Reviews:

Product Description
The authors of the New York Times bestseller Crucial Conversations show you how to achieve personal, team, and organizational success by healing broken promises, resolving violated expectations, and influencing bad behavior

Discover skills to resolve touchy, controversial, and complex issues at work and at home--now available in this follow-up to the internationally popular Crucial Conversations.

Behind the problems that routinely plague organizations and families, you'll find individuals who are either unwilling or unable to deal with failed promises. Others have broken rules, missed deadlines, failed to live up to commitments, or just plain behaved badly--and nobody steps up to the issue. Or they do, but do a lousy job and create a whole new set of problems. Accountability suffers and new problems spring up. New research demonstrates that these disappointments aren't just irritating, they're costly--sapping organizational performance by twenty to fifty percent and accounting for up to ninety percent of divorces.

Crucial Confrontations teaches skills drawn from 10,000 hours of real-life observations to increase confidence in facing issues like:

*An employee speaks to you in an insulting tone that steps crosses the line between sarcasm and insubordination. Now what?
*Your boss just committed you to a deadline you know you can't meet--and not-so-subtly hinted he doesn't want to hear complaints about it.
*Your son walks through the door sporting colorful new body art that raises your blood pressure by forty points. Speak now, pay later.
*An accountant wonders how to step up to a client who is violating the law. Can you spell unemployment?
*Family members fret over how to tell granddad that he should no longer drive his car. This is going to get ugly.
*A nurse worries about what to say to an abusive physician. She quickly remembers "how things work around here" and decides not to say anything.

Everyone knows how to run for cover, or if adequately provoked, step up to these confrontations in a way that causes a real ruckus. That we have down pat. Crucial Confrontations teaches you how to deal with violated expectations in a way that solves the problem at hand, and doesn't harm the relationship--and in fact, even strengthens it.

Crucial Confrontations borrows from twenty years of research involving two groups. More than 25,000 people helped the authors identify those who were most influential during crucial confrontations. They spent 10,000 hours watching these people, documented what they saw, and then trained and tested with more than 300,000 people. Second, they measured the impact of crucial confrontations improvements on organizational and team performance--the results were immediate and sustainable: twenty to fifty percent improvements in measurable performance.


Customer Reviews:
Showing reviews 1-5 of 49
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5 out of 5 stars Peril or Opportunity?   October 14, 2004
Robert Morris (Dallas, Texas)
71 out of 78 found this review helpful


As I read this exceptionally informative book, I was again reminded of the fact that the Chinese word for "crisis" has two meanings: peril and opportunity. As those who have been or are now involved in process simplification initiatives already know, every problem encountered offers a valuable learning opportunity. The same is also true when encountering "broken promises, violated expectations, and bad behavior" either within or beyond the workplace. The authors of this volume address questions such as these:

What's a "crucial confrontation"?
What to do before one occurs?
How to know when -- and when NOT -- to initiate one?
How to "get your head right before opening your mouth"?
How to begin a crucial confrontation?
How to involve and engage others to take appropriate action?
How to make keeping commitments (almost) painless?
What to do when others "get sidetracked, scream, or sulk"?
What to do after a crucial confrontation?
How to gain commitment and move to action?
How to solve "big, sticky, complicated problems"?
How to deal with the truly tough? (i.e. the twelve "yeh buts")

The authors also provide four appendices: A self-assessment for measuring confrontation skills, "The Six-Source Model," "When Things Go Right," and discussion questions for reading groups. Although any one of the appendices is worth far more than the cost of this book, their greatest value will be derived when the information and counsel are correlated with the material which the authors share in the nine chapters.

My own experience in the business world suggests that "broken promises, violated expectations, and bad behavior" really do offer both perils and opportunities. A careful reading of this book and then an equally careful application of the advice which the authors offer will, in my opinion, help reduce (if not eliminate) the former while helping to achieve effective fulfillment of the latter.



5 out of 5 stars The Essential Guide to Confrontation   September 23, 2004
Stuart Gardner (Fair Lawn, NJ)
31 out of 36 found this review helpful

We all have confrontations to deal with in our daily lives, both at work and at home. I head technology audit for a company and confrontation is a daily fact of life. Holding people accountable for actions, inactions and trying to change behavior is a stressful part of many people's jobs. This book provides an effective approach to handling all aspects of confrontation.

It even provides the often overlooked need for (effective) confrontation. Book illustrates this point with the example of the Challenger space shuttle tragedy (could have been averted had known issues been raised) and the tragic-comic example of a patient who went into hospital with an ear ache and came out with a vasectomy - because he wouldn't speak up!

Importantly, the authors provide practical approaches that can be applied in the real world in everyday life. This book's lessons can be applied in both professional and personal life. Wish I had it years ago.

This is a field guide for generating postive outcomes from confrontation in all aspects of life. An excellent what, when and how guide.



5 out of 5 stars Great Advice!   July 31, 2005
Robert F. Papandrea (Long Beach, CA)
10 out of 10 found this review helpful

I work as a first line production manager at a Fortune 500 company. This book has helped me in developing my skills in confronting people on performance issues. Even though the book may make it seem easier than we all know it is, it lays out very clear fundamental steps on what to do. I think the outline is the fundamental part we all miss when we seem to fail at crucial confrontations. This book is not the bible, but if you are having issues with employees or family members not holding true to committments this book will teach you simple to follow guidelines, so that the next time is more successful.


5 out of 5 stars Crucial Confrontations, excellent choice   March 10, 2006
E. Curtis (Houston, TX USA)
9 out of 9 found this review helpful

As a continuation of Crucial Conversations this is an excellent book. It gives solutions that can be put into practice in every area of my life. It is a very powerful book. With practice, the choice of responding rather than reacting becomes second nature.


5 out of 5 stars Help with Teenagers!   December 14, 2004
Suzie Q
15 out of 17 found this review helpful

This book has helped me to enter the sometimes scary world of teenage children. It gave me skills to keep "in dialogue" with my children even when confronting them on "bad behavior, broken promises, or failed expectations." Since first reading this book, I have practiced these skills and am getting better with my practice. I love the concept of keeping the conversation "safe". Its amazing that I can confront my children on issues that before they would blow up, but now we are able to agree and see things the same way. I love to end with the question - Do you see it the same way, or have I missed something? This helps them to know that I really have their best interests at heart. This book is a must-read for parents, teachers, employers, and employees. It has helped me to better my relationships in all aspects of my life.


Showing reviews 1-5 of 49
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